My Climb.... From the Staircase to the Ivory Tower

Yess!! The Mr Postman who has been missed by me for the past two weeks finally brought me the letter that I've been waiting for! The offer letter to join Science Matriculation (Matrics) in University Science Malaysia for two years! Yeehhaaaa!! I was sooo excited... But suddenly, I felt soooo nervous. This means that the first time in my life, I'll be away from home... Whatt???? Away from home? Can I survive? I am a spoilt little girl who gets everything that I want, simply just by saying it to my parents... And the first year Matrics will be in.... where? STAR, Ipoh, Perak... and this is an ALL BOYS boarding school. A what species boarding school??? ALL BOYS??? Seriously? And are you kidding me?... Well... the bottom of the offer letter stated in fine prints: "No! We're not kidding you! You will be the first batch of girls (60 of you!) to be placed in this school of all boys! Good luck to you! Hahahahaha!!".. Nope, I'm just joking. There were no fine prints.. but the reality was that my first year of Matrics will be in STAR, Ipoh mali, the all boys boarding school and we will be the first white rat batch to be placed there. Good luck to me!

I thought to myself.. Well, I am a survivor. I will survive... nananana.. I will survive! There will be always first time for everything right? So, the day arrived... the day that I had to leave my home sweet home to continue the journey of my life to be a better person. I saw from the car's window, my family's sad face, standing in front of our house, a bunch of them, and it was in year 1990, waving goodbye to me... and me in the car with PC Manaf driving, Mama and Wan and my things like ration (food-stuff), pail, 2 bags of clothes, hangers, mineral water, etc, etc... And suddenly I felt my face got distorted.. due to controlling not to cry... but I cried like a little baby at last!!... Abe Deen and his friend waited for me in Ipoh. I think.. if I am not mistaken, Cik Nah and Ayah San also sent me... don't really remember.. But I remember that Cik Nah was usually there during my important moments... She was my travel buddy too....

The next day was the registration day and the warden showed me my room... I wish I can call it a room... it was actually a dorm with 20 beds and 20 little cupboards, the size of the hospital cupboard, arranged side by side in a 'ngam-ngam' room, without any air-cond.. Huh?? Air-cond? Dream on.... not even fan okay!! There were 3 of them and mine was number 2. So, this will be my sleeping and study place for a year... the first year being away from home.... Not too bad... not too bad.... I counseled myself.... Huhuhuhuhu.... Not too bad waaaaaa..... In the mean-time, while I was lost in my own mixed feelings, Abe Deen and his friend already set up my bed with the white bed sheet, complete with the pillow case and arranged all my stuffs in the little hospital cupboard and under the bed... Well, he's an expert coz he was a boarding school boy! It's kacang for him... Thanks bro! And then, its time for them to go.... bubbye..... I have to be strong!

Well, it turned out to be that I had great dorm-mates... Azizah... the angel who will every night put blanket on everyone and put away the books or glasses if we fell asleep while reading, As and Narwani... the one who always laughed at my jokes - both are doctors now, Atrah.. my bedside buddy and also sat beside me in the classroom and we always said to each other that our place is like hospital ward, Cik Lin... the hot chick who is still my best buddy till now, Jamaliah.. the Sabahan, Ain.. the kind hearted Ipoh mali who always cook and brought food for us, Nik Azimah... also a doctor now, from dorm 3, but all the time sleep in my dorm, on my bed combined with Atrah's bed - she slept in the middle. But, thanks to her, because of her, the school fixed fans in our dorms.... So the nights were not boiling hot anymore. Breezy and windy....

So, the life as a Matrics year 1 student, in a boy's school begun... One hot sunny day, the first few weeks of life in the school.. A few of the girls complained that they lost their clothes on the clothes-line.. They washed it in the morning, put it there and when they wanted to collect it after class, gone! The jeans, the underwear, the shirts.. all gone! In the middle of the night, I heard a scream... someone throw a girl's underwear from downstairs to the dorm's walkway (our dorm were in 1st floor) with a few writings on it and also, the next day, you can see the boys were wearing the lost shirts and jeans... Lucky me.. I sent my clothes to laundry.. The reason I didn't wash my laundry myself was that I have to queue to use the washing clothes area and.... I was LAZY (sometimes its good to be lazy.. heheh)... So, I took the opportunity from the every weekend outing time given to us, yeah, we can only do outing - out from the school, once a week and collect it the next week. Simple, less time consuming and safe. Yeah.. living in a boarding school.. everything must follow strict rules.. Outing once or twice a week during the weekend, meals six times a day (breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, dinner and supper), preps two times a day (afternoon after tea before sports and night before supper after dinner), sports after preps and lights off after supper... and bla bla bla.... a lots of other rules more..

I don't fancy to do preps.... Not my thing... So, an incident, I was not feeling well (well, I always report as not feeling well) and informed the warden. I was allowed to be in the dorm during the preps time. But two of my other friends, decided not to go to preps too. So we studied in the dorm, using my study light coz we have to turn off the lights in the dorm during preps because no one is allowed to be in the dorm during the preps time. That fortunate night, the warden decided to do the spot check in the dorms... Since our dorm was number 2, we could hear the warden entered dorm 1 (as there was only a piece of plywood separating the 3 dorms).. So, I quickly act sick and lied on my bed. But my other 2 friends, didn't know where to hide... and they were panicking, lastly they both lied on the beds beside my bed. Fair enough, the warden entered our dorm and turned on the lights and saw us.. I was excused.. But my two friends, when asked by the warden, they said that they were body-guarding me who was sick... and of course, got punished... pity them.. huhuhu...

There were a few incidents, that made me not to go to eat in the dining room, instead I just eat anything I brought from home or bought during outing, in my dorm like Maggi Mee, Karipap Kecil, Popia Gulung Kecil, etc etc... Mostly Maggi Mee.. Once, during fasting month, for Sahur... the girls' line was behind the Form 1 students line... I queued for more than 1/2 hour and the line was not moving at all.. So, I went to the front of the line, there was a boy, fell asleep with tray in hand and his friends were just laughing at him didn't wake him up.. Oh, common.... The other incident was that, I found an 'unknown object' in the tray while having lunch, which made my stomach wavy.. bergelora... and expansion of throat.. kembang tekok ..... and I decided, that particular day was the last day I visited the dining room.... Oh yes... about Maggi Mee.. I don't know why, since small, I have a 'thing' with Maggi Mee... No one, I repeat, NO ONE, not even Mama can touch / taste my Maggi Mee.. not even a spoon... If anyone did that, another full one packet of Maggi Mee should be replaced for me. So, life in a hostel, everything must be shared... including my Maggi Mee.. So, what I did was, every time I prepared for me, I will prepare another one for others to share... Clever huh?.. hehehe...

I don't know why, I always felt sleepy in the classroom.. Especially in the chemistry class... I still remember, our teacher, male chinese... In order for me not to fall asleep in his class, I liked to joke and laugh in his class and he always said this to me.. "Mengapa kamu ketawa tak berhenti-henti..???"... and he liked to ask me questions in class. I think maybe he saw me falling asleep all the time. One day, in his class, I could feel that it was pitch quiet and I could hear the wind from the fan blowing... I fell asleep... When I opened my eyes, he was standing just beside me and the whole class was looking at me, some of them giggling and some with the nastiest smile I've ever seen on their faces.. God knows how long he has been standing there..... and the teacher asked me.. "Mengapa hari ni kamu berhenti ketawa??"... I was so shock and from that moment, I didn't sleep in class anymore.. not even once... Common... jatuh saham laaaa......

But, living in a boarding school like this, taught me a lot of things... A lot of things changed in my life and behaviour... For example, I couldn't drink water which is not fridge cold before, but now, I can drink any temperature of water, as long as its water; I look at things differently now; I realized how important a good friend is; When you are sad, you still can comfort someone who is sadder than you and forgot about your own sadness; Lowering the wants and expectations.. and many more. Overall, I changed from a spoilt little girl to a tough mature girl who just want to climb and fight to survive! I enjoyed that life, which you just have friends, true friends to rely on... and my friends, ROCK!!!

Its time to be the real university student! Only in the second year of Matrics I got the feeling of being a real university student. We were all placed in the main USM campus, Minden, Penang. From all of the USM Matrics centre, all over Malaysia. We were all placed in Desasiswa Gemilang. The hostel for babies in the USM. It was the orientation week.. We were all supposed to be at the big football field down the hill for the afternoon activities. I still remember, one day, one of the facilitators asked us (girls), who knows how to ride a motorbike. No-one put up their hand. Maybe many know but afraid to put their hands up since it was the orientation week and the facilitator was the most fierce one among them. So, I volunteered, coz I was quite close to the facilitator... Well, I kinda made friends easily with anybody.. I could adjust myself according to the person's behaviour or way... Maybe thats my strength, even though I am a shy person (its true... why are you smiling??).... Anyway, she gave me her bike's key and asked me to get something from the hostel. I took the key without many questions... Now... I don't know which one is her bike, among the hundreds of bikes parked there. So, what I did was, I tried the key, one by one on the bikes until I finally found the bike which I could start... I made the move, sat on the seat and started the bike.. When I was about to vrooom vrooomm up the hill, I heard voices screaming and shouting behind me... "Hey! Hey! Its our bike!!! Its our bike!!! Don't take our bike!!!".. and I looked back, there was a couple, with badminton racquets in their hands, jumping up and down and excitedly waving to me..... "Opppss.... Sorry!" I said and gave them back their bike. Again, I started all over again to try the key on the other bikes until again I could start one..... This time, I idled a bit, before I vrooommmmm... up the hill... Well, what kind of bike anyway can be started with any keys? I donno... Anyway.. Life as a Matrics students was not bad.. I actually enjoyed it... I was just an underdog who happens to have a car.. Yeahh... I brought my DR2141 after the orientation week. I was neither the hot chick (my students know about this 'hot chick' story) nor the best student... I was just a girl who just want to have fun in my own way...

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I wanted to be a Medical Doctor (MD). When the result came out, I was accepted to do Bachelor of Pharmacy. I was so frustrated (at that time - now, I'm happy I did pharmacy). The first year of study was bad. I didn't study at all... I failed two papers... Chemistry and Organic Chemistry. I had to do the extra semester, while my friends were enjoying their semester break. It was a tough year for me. I fell very badly and have dirt all over my body. But, after all the support from my family, especially Mama, my friends and my seniors (Kak Hazrina, Kak Noraziah, Kak Rosmazura and a few other Kaks)... I stood back and wiped all the dirt and start walking again... Yeah, walking, not running... Coz I thought to myself, well, there will be only 3 categories: 1st Class Hons. (A) - unachievable by me, 2nd Class Hons. (B & C) - my aim and 3rd Class (D).. and my aim was not to get D. B or C doesn't really matter and of course C is more achievable... The most important thing is to have fun and maintain my QOL.... Heheh..

I started to enjoy Pharmacy and friends... Since I am a business minded person, I did Major in Pharmacy and Minor in Management. Quite tough coz I have more classes and exams due to more credits to be taken but I enjoyed and did it successfully. I was close to all my classmates, boys or girls. But my closest buddies, who were also my study group are Aslinda aka Oleen and Faiza aka Faiz. They both were the top students in the class and very hardworking. I was the playful one. Oleen was very good in explaining lessons which I don't understand until I master it and Faiz was a bookworm and perfectionist. Her (Faiz) aim was either to score A or B. I remember once, after we got our exam results, I was so happy coz I passed all subjects with 2 B's and 3 C's. So, I went to Faiz's room to ask if she wants to follow me and Oleen to the Feringghi Beach to celebrate. But when she opened her room door, her face was so sad and I asked her "Why Faiz? Did you fail any paper?" and she answered "No. I passed all", "So, why are you so sad? You got D's?" and her answer was "No. I got 2 A's, 2 B's and 1 C.. I am sad coz I got C for one of the paper"... And I said.. "Walalalalalalalala... bye!!" and Off I went to the beach celebrating my 2 B's and 3 C's!!!..

The most memorable activity I did with my girl classmates was the Feringghi project where we went there in a convoy, cars and bikes, sleep one night in a motel beside the beach and burnt some chickens and sausages.. I mean BBQ by the beach while playing cards.... one of our beloved lecturers also followed us there, Dr Fauziah. Well, those were the memories that I will not forget, dear friends: Oleen, Faiz, Ida, Jue, Ja (Noriza), Jamal, Nik Jah, Mazrina, Bahijah, Zura, Adu, Wana, Yati, Norlida, ND, Ain, Paez, Ratna, Rozie, Shahiran, Anin, Zainon, Zunaidah and Zuraida. Thanks a lot. I did have a greaaaat time with you gals!

Like in the school years, I still like to tell jokes to my classmates, boys and girls. My good listener were Zahari, Khaled, Iskandar and Pak Din. I still laugh whenever I remember the incident: one day, I was sitting behind the lecture hall with a group of friends, telling jokes and stories. Suddenly, someone tried to enter the hall by opening the back door. And I told my friends "Buat-buat tidur semua.. buat-buat tidur.." and amazingly, all of them, closed their eyes and pretend to be sleeping while sitting on the chair. Zahari was the cutest (hahaha). I knew coz I didn't pretend to sleep myself.. I was just looking at them, pretending sleeping. It was soo funny till now (at least for me..). I usually pay attention in class and a good lecture notes writer. Last time was not like nowadays, where the lecture notes were given to students in power points and the students no need to write anything in class. Last time, we need to jot down everything that came out from the lecturer's mouth and they used transparency.. which we need to write it down too. I was good in that. But I usually open the notes only two weeks before the exam, during the 2 weeks of the study weeks. Before that week, I was just enjoying Penang... Feringghi, Padang Kota, Botancial Garden, Gelugor, Bukit Bendera, Gurney Drive, KOMTAR... Oooohhhh lala....

So, during the two weeks of the study weeks, I will just study, study and study. I will eat notes, breathe notes, bathe notes and sleep notes... Nothing else and no-one can disturb me during that time. My studying buddies were Oleen, Faiz and Pak Din. We didn't like to study in the library because the library was usually full and must be quiet. Furthermore, a lot of couples with smelly shoes in it. I din't really like the environment. What we did was that we 'McGyver' the tutorial room and conquer the whole room for ourselves with a full blast air cond.. It was not actually easy to be a pharmacy student. A lot of work and readings and remembering chemical structures, formulas, etc. We had a lot of social activities and projects too, like exhibition about medicine and pharmacy at the KOMTAR and even in the USM itself. Challenging but fun!. I also involved in the business activities organized by the universities or even Desasiswa. My friends and I experienced selling from newspapers to 'kuih malas' or 'keropok segera' to hand-painted batiks.. The profit from the business was not much but the fun and bonding with friends were invaluable... further more, most of the goods were supplied by Mama and most of the time, 'hangus modal'.. hehehe.. Sorry Mama! May God Bless you always!!

As you all know, I am a Notty Professor. Well, I can't put away that title, even in the university. Again, it was April Fool. Me and friends, one night, once taped the door of the room next to me in the Desa Permai with newspaper, totally covered the whole door opening, while they were in the room and we wrote "You've been Quarantined due to Contagious Disease!, Sign... April Fool!!" and also, put a note under someone else's door and at the same time, put tooth paste on the door knob and the note said "April Fool!!". Well, I was also the victim of April Fool. Once, my friends tied empty bottles and tins with ropes behind my car and when I drove the car, it gave a loud sound of 'keletung-keletak-ching-ting-geduk-geduk-geduk' and when I stopped my car to see, it was bunch of empty bottles and tins with a note "April Fool!!" and when I looked back, a bunch of grinning face was looking at me.... Huhuhu.. and that day, I was late to my lecture.... Oh boy...... Not a Notty Professor after all..... Well... another hobby of mine was drift-ing or 'cilok' with my car and driving in Penang needs a lot of skill and patience coz it is full of bikes and everybody seems to drive as they wish.. Like there's no driving rules over there. So, driving zig-zag between cars and bikes in the city was a norm to me... the road which I used to speed was the Bayan Lepas road, straight and not too crowded road. All I need to do was to press my fuel pedal and made the 'vroom-vrooom' sound from the sporty exhaust, and there will always be a taker... Huhu...

And then, it was time to say goodbye to USM Penang because, our final year was Clinical year and will be in the Kubang Kerian, Kelantan Campus. A mixture of feelings. Sad because going to leave Penang with all the memories and good food but happy because Kelantan is my hometown - back to home.. and a lot of my friends were already in Kelantan, doing Medical Degree like Nik Azimah, Wan Haslindawani, Narwani, As and senior Kanda Rohaizan. So, as a farewell trip, I made plan with my lecturer, Dr Fauziah, to go to an island in Terengganu and to spend our time together there. So, when the day arrived, we went there as planned. We waited and waited and waited, she didn't appear. So, I decided to call her and luckily she answered. She said that she is already on the island and have been waiting for us for sooo long. After futher conversation, we understood that we were in different islands!! She was in Redang Island and we were in Kapas Island... this was due to confusion on the correct jetty.. one was Jetty Merang and the other one is Jetty Marang.... Wok ah......

I can say that Clinical year was the most challenging year in a pharmacy course. We need to go to hospital, study patients cases in the wards, satellite pharmacy, detecting DRPs, reporting, ward rounds with the medical team, TPN, TDM, DIU and many more. I remember that I made a friend with one of the patient in the psychiatric ward. She liked talking to me so much until she asked about me from my friends and even asked the staff-nurse to call me via phone at the pharmacy department to visit her. Well, I did listen to her with empathy and not at all made fun of her. I took her seriously. I think that's why she liked to talk to me. Another experience was following my friend, Dr Nik Azimah into the labour room to see mothers giving birth to babies.... I can't describe here what I saw and what I felt when I saw all that.. the only thing I can say that after I came out from the labour room, I called Mama and thank her for giving birth to me and ask for her forgiveness and at the same time I told her how much I love her. I am sure she remembers. Another touching experience was when I was attached in the ICU ward... my patients just keep on dying on me... and when I saw them died and their family's grief, I got speechless..... and thought to myself, my time will come one day and I hope I am ready at that time........

With all the experiences and skills I gained during my climb, I became a better person and ready to work for my society as a dedicated pharmacist. I got what I aimed for, I passed Bachelor of Pharmacy with 2nd Class Honours, so do Oleen and Faiz. Congrats you guys!! On the convocation day, I decided, I won't stop my climb here... there will be another mountain to climb..... insyaAllah...

Enjoy this song ...... THE CLIMB (thanks to Kanda Dr Rohaizan Yunus for this song)

Happy climbing in your life guys!!