Yesterday.. I lost my beloved aunty... Bonda Mokcik a.k.a. Wan Zaidah... Approximately 8 months after my uncle, Ayah Sue a.k.a. Wan Zalik was taken away from us to a better place for him in heaven (I always pray for that..)..... Both, unpredicted..... both... in a sudden...... both, left us, their family behind because their time had come and it can't be delayed even in half-a-second.... May their soul rest in peace...... May their soul be placed together with the protected ones in Jannah... Next, it will be our time... Its inevitable... When? How? I don't know... Nobody can choose how are they going to die or when they want to die... But... everyone can choose how are they going to live and lead their life.... and still, not 100% in our control... still pending to God's will... The best we can do, is keep on trying and try to live a wonderful life and enjoy and appreciate whatever are given to us and whoever in our lives...
We always take for granted everything and everybody in our life. We think that they will be ours forever... We think that the people we love will stand by us and loving us infinitely... Forever... Right? Wrong! When we see life events happens to other people, we always think.. its not me.. its not going to happen to me... No... it will always be other people, not us. Because of that, we lived comfortably... Assuming that life will be the same 10 years from now as it is now. Everyone will still be around us.. and everything we have will still be ours. We always forget that, anytime.. ANYTIME... we might loose everything and everyone... Either we like it or not... its beyond our control... So... what am I saying? What should we do then? Well... I don't know about you... but for me... I will try to appreciate everything and everyone I have to the fullest... Let them know, their existence are significant in my life... Let them know that they are important to me.... Let them feel how much I love them and want them to be part of my life... I will not be shy sharing my feelings with them... I will say 'I LOVE YOU' to them, no matter how many times.... I will also act so that they feel, when I said 'I LOVE YOU', it really mean business! When I miss them, I will say 'I MISS YOU!' I don't want to regret... I don't want it to be too late... I don't want to be saying "How I wish, I could show him/her how much I love him/her..."... I want to live in present and looking forward for the future... not regretting the past.... For the things loaned to me by God (yes, I believe in God)... I will use them toward my happiness... I will not allow them to control my life... They 'work' for me, not I 'work' for them.... Confused? Never mind... It won't be asked in the MCQs or OSCE exam... huhu....
A simple example.... We think that we are on top of the world... We are very successful.... We have the education and qualifications which being envied by anyone and everyone.... We are very respected in our field and in what we do... We just know how to do things right.. We have the Midas touch! We think, well, of course, because I worked hard for this! I sacrifice a lot... I fight a lot.. therefore, I deserve all this.. Is it?.. Well... yes, its true.. part of it... BUT... there are also a lot of other things contributed to that... That's not the issue here... what I want to say is that.. all that, can be gone in a blink of an eye... Let's say, (God Forbid!) suddenly you have an accident and leave you in a vegetative condition and brain damage and memory loss...... or you got strike by stroke in the brain.... or simply memory loss... where goes all the credentials and expertise? Too tragic? It won't happen to us? Think again... Everything is possible and the guy next door who got hit by the bus and suffer memory loss might be you, tomorrow (again, God Forbid!)... What am I saying here? I'm sorry to disturb your feelings.. but I just want to say, remember all possibilities.. Anything can happen.. at anytime... So, what to do then? Again, I am not the encyclopedia of life... I don't know. But for me, I choose just to be humble... If I can't preserve my own memory, at least I can plant the memory about me in others mind... Of course a good memory about me.... Even whatever happens to me, people in my life will always remember my good deeds... my kindness.... and my love.... in that way, I will never die in their heart or their mind... Make sense? I don't know.. You tell me... At least that's my plan and I dont have Plan B (in Canada, Plan B is an emergency contraceptive... this is not what I mean)....
Well.. this post is just a way for me to remind myself... that in life, 'LOSS'... 'GRIEF'... 'DEATH'... can come and knock on our door, anytime.. any moment... they are even 'breathing on our face', that close... Just be prepared, dear me.... May we all lead a happy and meaningful life in this world and be protected in the world there-after.... after all, we are just human with full of hopes, wants and attitudes..... (Tell me about it!)
Again, please mind my English.. I don't have PhD in English (my kazen Miemi Hamshi is going to do it..)... last time, my supervisors proof-read my thesis... now, nobody is proof-reading my blog... so just enjoy it... you don't have to mark and do any corrections... Thanks for reading!
